Seeing you
by Nadia
Summary: Jim's childlike curiosity gets him into real trouble and Bones has to fix it. (Jim/Bones)


Title: Seeing you (Original: Dich zu sehen)  
Autor: Nadia aka Emony

Summary: Jim's childlike curiosity gets him into real trouble and Bones has to fix it.  
Rating: NC-17  
Tags: Jim/Bones, blindness, hurt/comfort, slash  
Translator: Ranya, Beta tinini

**Chapter 1**

McCoy stepped nervously from one leg to the other behind Scotty in the constriction of the transporter room which made the Scotsman throw an unnerved look at the doctor. »Could you please stop that?«, he asked with forcefully when McCoy simply ignored or didn't notice his look. In the end Scotty wasn't too sure about that.

The emergency call has come in two minutes ago. Spock had only been able to give little information and sounded rushed – which was very unusual for the half Vulcan and especially had Uhura worried. He had said something about a lizard like animal which spat unknown secretion. That was all McCoy knew. However, he had no doubt that Jim had managed to get himself into trouble once again. How could it possibly be different? The fool succeeded every time in getting hurt. Sometimes McCoy thought he took to dangerous situations on purpose just to have an excuse to visit sickbay afterwards.

»Mr. Scott, beam us up!«, the urgent voice of Mr. Spock finally sounded through the intercom. He had asked Scotty to keep the channel open.

But his voice did not calm McCoy in any way. On the contrary, he sounded out of breath and a little raspy. The doctor tried to be prepared for anything.

And then Spock and Kirk materialized on the platform and McCoy's heart skipped a beat. Spock was carrying the unconscious captain and instantly stepped off the transportation device to meet the doctor. For a moment it took McCoy's breath away to see the tattered uniform of his best friend who was lying lifeless in Spock's arms. An alien red substance was sticking to his face like jelly, covering eyes, mouth and nose. »What's that? What happened?«, McCoy managed frightened while instinctively wiping the substance off Kirk's face to clear the air passages again.

»We were caught off guard by lizard like animals that resembled prehistorically life forms once existing on earth«, Spock explained. If Jim got gradually too heavy for him he didn't let it show.

»You found dinosaurs?«, McCoy asked disbelieving and felt a weird prickling that was working its way up his arm from the substance sticking to his fingers. He could imagine with what childlike joy Jim must have reacted to those dinosaurs. With the infantile naïve joy of a damn ten year old who just wouldn't see that those god damned dinosaurs had been bloody killers even millions of years ago already and no cuddly toys. And the way he knew his best friend he had probably tried to pet one of the smaller specimens. Because you don't believe what a tricorder is telling you – and "you" meant Jim in that case – you just have to touch those damn critters to verify them as real.

»He got spit on by one of those creatures«, Spock explained further, »and in the end fell down a hill while trying to escape.«

Speechless, McCoy rolled his eyes. »He just doesn't miss out on anything«, he scolded and looked grimly at Spock as if all of this was his fault since he hadn't taken Jim by the hand and held him back. Which was of course ridiculous since Jim was the damn captain of the starfleet flagship and one might have thought, especially considering his enormous IQ, the fool would keep a safe distance to a freaking dinosaur. But no, that would be too good to be true. »We have to take him to sickbay immediately«, McCoy muttered while scanning Jim.

Spock nodded and complied with the unspoken demand of carrying Jim to sickbay himself. Because experience had taught Spock that with `we' the doctor naturally meant that he – Spock – should carry Jim there since he was holding him in his arms already anyway. Not that he liked being told what to do by the doctor but right now, Jim's physical condition was too critical to pick a quarrel with McCoy.

The double doors to sickbay parted with a hiss. »Lay him down over there«, McCoy asked at once. Spock complied again. »Christine?«

McCoy's keen yell for the nurse seemed to have struck the right note. She immediately peaked out of one of the rear laboratories.

»Prepare eye irrigation«, the doctor demanded while simultaneously checking Jim's vital signs. »I don't believe it«, he cursed angrily.

Spock did not have to be a doctor to understand what the bio scanners showed. The captain's respiration had failed and his heart beat was getting progressively weaker.

»Christine!«, McCoy yelled again for the head nurse.

She came running and prepared the instruments for eye irrigation on the nearby operating table. »I'm here«, she told McCoy who was already preparing a hypo with adrenalin.

»Spock, get that damn shirt of him«, McCoy demanded impatiently. »If you have to loiter about here you could at least be useful.«

The Half-Vulcan's left eyebrow soared dangerously at that order. Nonetheless he followed the instruction while McCoy bustled through sickbay to get a defibrillator. »Christine, get that damn stuff off his face.« Obviously the secretion blocked Jim's airways. He didn't even want to think about what that stuff did to the oversensitive mucosa in Jim's eyes.

An ear-piercing persistent beep droned through sickbay. McCoy always felt chills at the sound of that beep. Especially when Jim was his patient once again.

»Cardiac arrest«, nurse Chapel said redundantly. Her eyes fleetingly searched for contact with McCoy from the readouts above the biobed.

He had rushed back and attached a couple small electrodes to Jim's chest over the cardiac region at which he was less skillful as usual since his right hand was getting more and more numb. »I'm going to kill him«, he grumbled, placed the hypo on Jim's carotid artery and injected him with the adrenalin. »Hands off!«

Chapel and Spock kept their safe distance. Then McCoy drove an electric surge through his captain whose chest lifted and dipped at that.

Nothing happened. »Are the airways clear?«

»Yes, doctor«, Chapel confirmed and anxiously looked up to the readouts. The captain had never had a cardiac arrest before. As nothing happened after the third surge, she felt a massive amount of panic bubbling up inside of her.

»If you die now, Jim, I'll feed you to those carnivores down there as starters. Do you hear me, you damn idiot?!« McCoy tried an even higher voltage. He had to trigger it with his left hand by now. The right one had become nearly useless thanks to this obviously highly toxic secretion.

»Sinus rhythm«, Chapel read out the display and allowed herself to exhale the air she had been holding.

McCoy barely allowed himself to relax. The situation was way too serious for him, still. While Jim's heart was beating again, he was not yet able to breathe on his own.

And while the doctor was still giving new orders to Chapel and they both tried to treat Kirk so his condition could be described as stable, Spock left sickbay. It was superfluous to look over the doctor's shoulder. After his evaluation McCoy had the situation under control yet again which put him into effective astonishment once more. The excessive way in which the doctor cursed and yelled as much as possible whenever he stitched up the captain it always was curious to Spock how McCoy could concentrate on his work at all.

»You can call it a day now, Christine«, McCoy said exhausted. »It was a rough afternoon.«

The nurse nodded. »How's your hand?«, she asked nonetheless.

»It's terribly tingly. But that's a good sign.« He tried to give her a smile. »Go. Eat something and then go to bed.«

»You need rest yourself.«

McCoy threw a look above his shoulder towards Jim who was peacefully sleeping in one of the biobeds. »I'll stay with him tonight. Just in case. I'm not sure how he'll respond to the acetylcholine. With all his allergies I'd better not take a risk.«

»Dr. M'Benga can take care of the captain over night as well«, Chapel argued and gave McCoy a sympathetic look from, gray blue eyes.

McCoy tiredly shook his head. »I'll stay with him. M'Benga can take care of the rest. I'll look after the captain myself.«

Chapel sighed. It had at least been worth a try. »Alright«, she said. »I'll make sure you'll get something to eat.«

»And coffee?«, McCoy asked and smiled at her gratefully.

She nodded and left sickbay.

Hours later McCoy awoke up from a light slumber. His neck hurt and he massaged it while sitting up in the chair next to Kirk's bed.

»Bones?«

»Welcome back«, McCoy murmured and tried not to let his relief show.

The station's lightning was just bright enough to barely see the outlines of the furnishings. M'Benga had withdrawn to the office with some reports and readings so McCoy could sleep.

»How are you feeling?«, McCoy asked, got up and checked the readings above Jims bed.

»My chest hurts«, Jim complained and rubbed it to emphasize his words. »And I have a weird smell in my nose and a downright disgusting taste in my mouth.«

McCoy made a face and bent over Jim. With a small flashlight he checked the pupillary light reflex and only uttered: »Hmm«.

»Bones, what are you doing?«

The question was basically redundant. Jim knew the test. Bones did it every time. Mostly to check the brain activity. This time, however, to find out how his eyes were reacting to the dinosaur's poison. »Your pupils are reacting extremely stolid to the light.«

»What light?«

For a moment McCoy's heart stopped. »This damn light«, he grumbled and blinded Jim on purpose for a few seconds.

Kirk closed his eyes. »Could you please correct that? I can't see anything.«

»I just noticed that«, McCoy snapped. »Nothing at all? Not even blurred?«

Jim shook his head. »You can fix that, can't you?«

The following silence got the normally fearless captain of the Enterprise choked in panic. »Bones?«

»Let me think, god damn it.« McCoy rubbed the bridge of his nose and nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

»Why can't I see anything?«, Kirk asked with importunity. He felt hot and cold at the same time.

»Because you moron let yourself be spat at by a goddamn dinosaur with a neurotoxin the exact components of which are just being determined by the lab. This stuff paralyzed your heart and pulmonary system. Haven't you read any books about dinosaurs when you were little? Even the small harmless seeming critters can be deadly. How can you be so foolish? So utterly daft with your supposedly intelligence? Right now I think you cheated on every blasted test not only at the Kobayashi Maru simulation and in reality you are stupid as a rock. Cause I can't explain your constantly stupid behavior and your nearly suicidal thoughtlessness any other way!«

The words rolled off his patient like raindrops off a lotus. »I can't see anything, Bones«, Kirk said again and reached in the general direction of McCoy's rant. When he got a hold on his friend's uniform he clutched at it like a drowning man at a life buoy.

»You tend to repeat yourself«, McCoy replied roughly but took Jim's hand and held it in both of his. Then he said considerably softer: »I have to know what kind of poison it was before I can start developing a treatment.«

»But you can do it, right? I mean you're the best doctor of all.«

McCoy raised an eyebrow and looked at the scared face of his best friend whose eyes were skipping around nervously and yet seemed to be completely empty. He hated it when Jim praised his abilities like that. Yes, he thought of himself as a very good doctor. But was he the best? Even if so, it wouldn't be a warranty for finding a cure. In spite of modern medicine even his abilities were limited. The best example was his own father whom he hadn't been able to help in any other way but by releasing him of his suffering.

»I'll lose my job if I can't see anything, Bones. Please you have to fix it«, Jim begged and McCoy's heart sank at the sound of his voice.

»I'll do my best, Jim. But for now lie back down and sleep for a while. You've got a light concussion as well as some bruises because of your fall down the hill. But you didn't break anything for a change.« He gave his best friend an encouraging smile and forgot for a short moment that he couldn't see anymore. When he realized he placed a hand against Jim's cheek. »I'll take care of you.«

For a fleeting moment McCoy thought Jim would nestle against the palm of his hand before lying down. »Close your eyes«, McCoy said. »I'll stay with you.«

**Chapter 2**

Two days had passed since the incident and Bones had released him from sickbay. At first Bones took him to his own quarters but after Jim had bumped into the furniture a couple of times within five minutes and had even fallen once, Bones decided to temporarily accommodate him at his place.

Bones had always felt the urge to protect Jim. Even during their time at the academy. After their first year Jim practically lived in Bones' quarters even they they had never gotten officially placed together. And Jim enjoyed sharing a quarter with Bones again even if it was only temporarily. He had missed that ever since they had taken on their assignments on the Enterprise.

Bones kept him alive. Jim had never known anyone before who cared about him with such dedication and loyalty. No one had ever looked after him like this and had given him the feeling of being worth it. No one except Bones. And even if Jim didn't distress him on purpose he kind of liked Bones' telling-off after every fight and every failed mission. It had become a ritual between them.

The blindness, however, did bother Jim increasingly. The hours alone in the quarter seemed like eternities. Uhura supposedly worked on teaching the speech processor to read books from the database. Of course there was not even a single book on board written in braille. Not that he'd ever learned how to read braille; it was just a matter of principle. Working on the bridge was out of the question as well because he couldn't operate those damn consoles. Scotty was already working with Spock to make the main consoles readable for a blind person. However they were trying to do that. Right now, Jim wasn't even able to read the daily ship reports which were given to him. Bones read them to him, though and so it didn't feel that bad.

A part of him admired the commitment of his crew. They all tried to make his daily routine easier, tried to make him an active part of the crew again. Damn it, he was the captain! Well, not right now. Spock was momentarily in command till Bones found a cure. But until then Jim felt more and more detached from the rest of the personnel.

From everyone except Bones.

Bones. Jim sighed at the thought of his best friend. Bones worked without respite and was a lot grumpier than usual. No wonder Jim thought, because he didn't get much sleep lately and got overwrought by it. Jim shouldn't have pushed him so hard to find a treatment. He should have known that there was proverbially NOTHING Bones wouldn't try to help him.

»Computer, what time is it?« Jim asked and his own voice sounded too loud in the quarter's silence.

»2116«, was the brief and precise answer.

The time confirmed what Jim suspected all along. Bones was working over time in the labs again. He badly needed to talk to him. It wasn't right that Bones forced himself to work so hard just because of him. He just wasn't worth that.

Jim stood from the sofa, which had become his favorite place. From there he could at least listen to music, take a nap or simply dwell on his thoughts. Bones had even gotten him an ultra fluffy pillow and a blanket.

Bones.

Jim sighed again.

Clumsily he felt around for the intercom. He had displaced his communicator once again. Bones had rearranged half his quarter so Jim could go to the bathroom or the door unimpeded without falling over a barrier or knock over something breakable. Eventually, he reached the wall with his fingertips and groped along till he found the intercom. He counted the buttons from left to right and pushed the third one. »Kirk to sickbay.«

»McCoy here. What is it, Jim? Bored again already?«

Bones sounded extremely unnerved. Although Jim had actually pulled himself together and hadn't called him for more than three hours. To be honest, his late nap had been responsible for that. Where Bones didn't sleep enough, he slept too much. But what else should he do? And so he dozed off all the time and believed to gradually get some real insights into the life of a groundhog.

»Get off duty, Bones. It's past nine already.«

»Damn it«, Bones muttered on the other side of the line. »Christine, why are you still here?«

Typically Bones. He'd lost track of time again and ignored his inner clock. He had mastered that.

»I«, Jim heard her muffled voice, »didn't wanna leave you alone, doctor.«

»Go, Christine. I'll finish up here«, sounded Bones gruff voice.

»Bones«, Jim tried to get his friend's attention without sounding too pathetic. He just hated being alone all day long.

»Just twenty more minutes, Jim. Then I'll be done for today. I just wanna test something.«

»Promise?«

»Yes, damn it and now leave me alone!« With that McCoy abruptly closed the connection.

Smiling Jim shook his head. He urgently had to talk to Bones. He couldn't continue like that.

Since he was already standing, Jim decided to take a shower. That shouldn't be too hard even for a blind man, should it?

Kirk wasn't wrong. He took his shower pretty fast. However, he did not know about Bones defect shower cabin, which did not close properly so the water got out onto the floor making it – to Jim's doom – very slippery. So Jim stepped out of the cabin and lost his balance while grabbing for a towel; he couldn't get hold of anything and banged face first onto the toilet bowl.

It all happened so fast Jim couldn't even make sense of the stars which were suddenly dancing in front of his eyes. And much less did he realize that in his current condition he actually wasn't able to see stars at all.

»Holy crap!«, he cursed and held his pulsing forehead. »God damn mother fucking sh-!«

»JIM?«

Alarmed, Jim tried to sit up. Bones shouldn't worry even more than he already did. Gee, he couldn't even take a shower without nearly killing himself. On the other hand, he then thought he could've had fallen more awkwardly and broken his neck; so he was glad to only have bumped his head. In retrospect the idea of taking a shower without attendance seemed absolutely dimwitted of him.

»JIM?«

Bones voice was more concerned as ever before. Or was Jim just imagining it because he secretly hoped Bones would find and rescue him once more? His knight in shining blue armor – uhm, uniform.

Damn it! The impact had definitely been too hard. Damn physics!

»Coming«, he replied and tried to get rid of the dizziness which was not helping him at all trying to orient himself.

»I brought us something to eat«, Bones said and Jim heard that he was standing right in front of the bathroom door. »Do you need help?«

»NO!«, Jim croaked, tried to get up and slipped again. This time he landed on his butt which was a lot less painful than his encounter with the toilet bowl. Nonetheless there was a bash and Jim suddenly held both the towel and the holder in his hand. »Crap!«

»What the hell are you doing in there?«

»Nothing. I just fell. I'll get you a new towel holder, I promise.«

»What?«

A hiss followed by a cold draft let Jim know that Bones' patience was wearing thin and he had gained access to the bathroom.

»Dear god, Jim!« Bones was instantly with him and wrapped a large towel around his shoulders. »You've got a laceration above your eyebrow. What did you do?«

»Just wanted to take a shower«, Jim mumbled and rolled his eyes. »Why is the room spinning? How can I even notice that when I can't see a damn thing?«

»Because your equilibrium organ isn't in your eyes but in your ears«, Bones muttered. »Don't move. I'll go get my med kit.«

Jim obeyed. What else could he do? He felt endlessly foolish.

»You're driving me crazy, you know that? You're like a child you can't let out of sight for just five minutes.«

»I'm sorry«, Jim mumbled; his heart leaped for joy because of the scold and he wished he would be able to see Bones' face. He had always liked watching Bones treating his injuries. Why couldn't he have lost any other sense? Why his eyesight of all things?

»This might burn a little«, Bones cautioned and his voice was a lot gentler all of a sudden. He had gotten over the first shock and had switched to full doctor mode now.

Jim relaxed under the touch of Bones' gentle fingers which were carefully, almost tenderly touching his face and disinfected his laceration. Jim didn't make a sound. Every little touch from Bones sent comforting electric waves down his nerves. Why had it taken him so long to realize how affectionately Bones was touching him?

»Are still feeling dizzy?«, Bones asked worried and examined Jim's pupils in spite of the blindness. It was just a routine he wouldn't abandon just because Jim was not able to see anymore.

Jim slowly shook his head.

»Ok«, Bones fleetingly stroked his hair. »Come here«, he said firmly and helped Jim to his feet.

Jim's legs felt like jelly. He was barely able to stand upright and so he clumsy wrapped his arms around Bones' strong shoulders.

»Still a little groggy, huh?«, Bones noticed and held him cautiously.

Jim allowed himself to lean on Bones for a short moment and noticed for the first time how good Bones smelled even after a long day of work. »Nice scent, Bones. What do you use?«, he asked and bit his tongue the very next moment. What was he thinking?  
He felt how Bones tried to catch his eyes. Bones was facing him but Jim had buried his head against Bones' neck breathing in his smell. »Guess you bumped your head pretty badly this time, Jim.«

There was a strange tingling in the pit of his stomach as he felt Bones' warm breath on his face. And suddenly his heart started to race and there was nothing he could do about it. First the gentle fingers, now the scent and Bones being so immediately close… Jim was close to insanity. And to make things worse, he became hard.

With horror he realized this circumstance combined with the fact that he was laying absolutely damn naked in Bones' arms he tried to break free and stand on his own. However, he tumbled backwards, the towel slipped from his shoulders and Bones quick-wittedly caught him.

»Easy, Jim. Here, just towel yourself off first …« Bones didn't finish when he bent over in front of Jim to lift the towel back up.

Jim felt himself blushing bashfully. Never before had he felt ashamed of his virility. Now however, there was nothing he wished more for than a damn black hole which would swallow him complete with his erection. Dropping dead was an acceptable alternative as well. But not even this wish was granted to him. Embarrassed, Jim bit his lower lip.

»You know«, Bones said and Jim could hear the insecurity in his voice he tried to cover, »I was afraid for quite some time that it turns you on when I treat you.«

»I, uhm…« Great! Not bad for a hormone-driven captain, right? »I'm sorry.«

»Hm«, Bones hummed and wrapped the towel around his hip. The figure of speech "to pitch a tent" did get a whole new meaning by that. »Now towel yourself off. And try not to walk around until I've mopped up the flooding. I'm starving.«

Jim was not sure whether he should be disappointed or relieved because Bones had obviously decided to ignore his erection. He decided to go with relief.

And a few minutes later Jim sat fully clothed in Bones' living room and tried to figure out by smell what they would have for dinner. «What's that?«, he finally asked. »Smells like cabbage. You know I don't like cabbage.«

»You said you don't like broccoli and also no brussels sprouts. This is cauliflower and it's healthy. You'll eat it, am I clear?«

»But I…«

»Jim«, Bones sighed and took an impatient breath. »As soon as you can take care of yourself again, you're free to eat whatever you want. But as long as you depend on me you'll have at least one balanced meal a day.«

Jim's chin trembled suspiciously. He would give anything to see Bones' grumpy look right now. How he rolled his eyes, pulled together his eyebrows before frowning angrily. He had seen that look so many times. Jim missed watching Bones. »Anything else on my plate I can't stand?«, he asked, surrendering. Bones would NEVER let him eat whatever he liked. Bones had ALWAYS reprimanded him because of his alimentation.

«Frankly, I don't care. You'll eat it.«

»You can't tell me what to do, Bones. I'm the captain.«

»And I'm your CMO. And if I decide you're acting like a ten year old and also live on it I'll pull my physician joker card. That's the way it goes. And with that ace up my sleeve I outrank you. Now eat already. This is a dining table, not a discussion table.«

»I…« Jim only heard Bones draw another breath and therefore decided to shut up. For the moment he had taken it far enough with Bones. Sighing, he reached for knife and fork and tried to cut something on his plate in bite-sized pieces. Immediately the knife slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor as he was trying to cut something that felt like meat.

»Oh, Jesus«, Bones panted. »My daughter does that better than you. Let me help you, Jim.«

»Your daughter can see what she is doing. That's not a fair comparison.«

»Tissue?«

Pouting Jim leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. The next moment he felt how Bones moved with his chair to his right side at the table. »Here«, he heard Bones saying calmingly. »Open your beak.«

»I'm not a child!«

He could imagine how Bones was rolling his eyes. »Please open your mouth«, Bones tried with forced patience. This time Jim obeyed and hesitantly opened his mouth. Bones gently slid a loaded fork in.

Jim chewed and happily noticed that Bones had put an English roasted steak and boiled potatoes on the fork with the cauliflower. »Tastes good«, he let out while chewing.

»I told you. Just don't eat the cauliflower alone. If you put a little bit of everything on your fork it tastes twice as good.«

Bones was absolutely right. Or maybe the cauliflower only tasted that good because he got fed it by Bones with it. He probably would have eaten anything just to be fed as long as possible by Bones.

Unfortunately the shared meal was over much too fast. And before Jim knew what was happening Bones brought him back to the couch and pressed a beer in his hand. After that Bones joined him and raised his glass to him. In his glass was whiskey though. Jim recognized the fine note which was inseparably linked to Bones to him. Bones was not a beer drinker.

»Well«, Bones started, »do you wanna talk about what happened in the bathroom, Jim?«

Jim choked on his beer which nearly came out of his nose again and shook his head while he was trying to catch his breath.

»I think we shouldn't ignore that, though«, Bones insisted and gently rubbed his back in circles until Jim was able to breathe normally again. »You never reacted to me this way«, he continued unwaveringly.

»I already apologized. It won't happen again.« Jim emptied his glass in one gulp.

He felt Bones' gaze on him. He didn't have to see him. »Pity«, he heard Bones and was sure to have heard wrongly.

Jim swallowed. Damn, why couldn't he see Bones now? He wanted to see him so badly and look in his eyes just to make sure he didn't mishear.

»Don't look at me like a deer in headlights, Jim.«

»I can't look at you. I'm blind. Forgot?«

»You still look like Bambi!«, Bones muttered.

»Who?«

Bones laughed quietly. And before Jim knew it, Bones moved dangerously close to him. »Do you like me touching you? Or scolding you?«, Bones asked and Jim could already feel his breath; that's how close he had moved in already.

Jim swallowed again. »Yes«, he said without referring to one of the questions and gasped for air as Bones' hand laid down on his thigh.

»Do you like that, Jim?« Bones' hand wandered to the inner side of his thigh just grazing his crotch, wandering on over Jim's chest and rested against his face which Jim nuzzled happily in this warm soft hand.

Jim whimpered under the touch. It was so innocent, gentle and infinitely pleasant. »More«, Jim forced out and hoped not to go too far.

Surprisingly, Bones gave him what he craved. Agonizingly slowly Bones began to peel Jim out of his clothes again. Every little touch from Bones' skillfully moving fingers on his skin sent sparkling electric impulses through his nerve tract.

»Is that ok as well?«, Bones asked and planted wet little kisses against Jim's neck and just below his ear.

»Oh, yes«, Jim panted und fumbled clumsily with Bones' uniform. »I wanna feel you. Your skin. Now.«

»Maybe I should take a shower first.«

»No way«, Jim said and Bones let his shirt being pulled over his head. »Love how you smell.«

»You're out of your mind«, Bones said and Jim could hear him smiling though his snide words.

Jim pulled Bones impatiently back to the couch. »It turns me on«, Jim affirmed and wrapped his naked legs around Bones so he couldn't escape him. Nearly by themselves his hands found their way to Bones' waistband and opened button and zipper. Frantically Jim pulled the trousers over Bones' tushy before his hands began massaging the muscular flesh.

Bones groaned something unintelligible in Jim's ear before he bit his earlobe and finally searched for Jim's lips. Their mouths met hard and hungrily and Jim could feel that Bones was just as aroused as he himself. Bones' erection pushed hard against Jim's and made the younger man gasp inebriated.

Jim experienced Bones in a way he didn't even dare to imagine before. He felt Bones, skin on skin. Jim could smell him, hear him whisper his name – which turned him on even more – and taste him… Bones was like a celebration to all his senses. The only thing he regretted was not being able to see him.

»You smell so good, Bones«, Jim whispered and left a moist kiss on Bones' neck.

Bones just managed a small smile again before Jim sealed his lips with his own again. Should he tell Jim he wasn't even wearing any perfume? Damn it, he was a doctor, not a gigolo!

»Got any lubricant?«, Jim asked as he got tired of foreplay.

»Sure,« Bones said and kissed him again before getting up from the couch. »I'll be right back.«

Jim lounged expectantly on the small couch. But before the thought of following Bones to the bedroom became serious, he was already back.

Bones passed the lube to Jim and sat down on the couch. »Move over«, he grumbled and pulled Jim onto his lap.

Jim spread out some of the lube on Bones' erection and then paused contemplatively.

»What is it, Jim? Something wrong?«

»I wished I could see you, that's all.« He laid his hands on Bones' face and traced its outlines. »I'm afraid of forgetting how attractive you are.«

Bones was surprised that Jim thought of him as attractive. They had never complimented each other in that way. He smiled again and took Jim's hands from his face. »You'll see me again, Jim. Not tonight but in the nearest future. I promise.«

Jim bent forward and Bones met him halfway so Jim wouldn't miss him. Their lips touched and Bones pulled Jim a little bit closer still. He then took some of the lubricant and scattered it on Jim's entrance.

Impatiently Jim rubbed his crotch against Bones'. He didn't want to wait any longer. He couldn't wait any longer. Everything inside of him was screaming out for becoming one with Bones. »Just take me«, Jim hissed. He thought Bones had done a good job stretching and preparing him. Apart from that he was used to pain. Some pain had always been welcome to him.

Jim lifted his pelvis just high enough for Bones to carefully penetrate him before letting his weight slowly drop again and took Bones inside of him. Bones held him safely as Jim moved above him, slowly at first and then more demanding.

Jim's skin started to glisten in the pale light of the quarters. Bones' hands slipped more and more on his damp back where he supported Jim. Ambitiously he licked Jim's salty tasting skin and then pulled back. »Come on!" Bones groaned, "Switch. I can't just sit like that.« He directed Jim to a kneeing position on the couch.

Carefully he penetrated Jim again moving slowly and controlled inside of him. Jim was way too demanding. He wouldn't have managed to go on for much longer. Jim panted heavily and whispered his name with relish.

It was so good to finally feel Bones. For how long had this been a secret desire? He didn't even know any more. He had never indulged in this kind of fantasy Had considered himself as a bad friend because he wanted to be more than this, because he wanted to be desired by Bones.

Jim gasped for breath as Bones' long fingers wrapped around his shaft and started to massage it with gentle pressure. Again Bones pulled away and turned Jim around to kiss him. »Sit down«, he asked and Jim obeyed once again. He was willing to do anything Bones asked from him. At this point he had lost all wallpaper. And he enjoyed every second of it. Bones was the only person in front of who he didn't have to be scared to let go of his protective barrier.

Suddenly Bones' lips were closing around his erection and Jim could do nothing more but whimper and moan and shout Bones' name. And when Bones finally rubbed his own erection against his, he came. He came as hard as he hadn't for quite some time. Bones' climax followed suit.

The next thing Jim felt was Bones' weight as he snuggled up against him. He laid his arms around Bones and tried to get his breath under control again.

»Let's take a shower«, Bones said after a while.

Jim had assumed Bones had fallen asleep on top of him. It had been a long day for him. »Ok.«

»I'll make sure you won't get hurt again«, Bones said smiling and kissed Jim before helping him get up.

»I trust you«, Jim said and let Bones guide him.

»I know, Jim.«

**Chapter 3**

Three more days and nights went by. And no matter what Jim said or did Bones worked with progressive determination. Actually Jim didn't believe in no-win scenarios but in this special case first doubts crossed his mind. And even worse than these doubts was the fact that he started to get used to his situation. He enjoyed feeling Bones, taste him, smell him and hear him. He saw Bones through all his other senses and thought he was more beautiful than ever before. Maybe he should tell Bones it was time to give up. That it was okay the way it was. Bones wouldn't let go on his own. He had promised it and Bones was a man who stood up to his promises. Even if it demanded everything from him.

»JIM!«

Jim hadn't heard the door Bones' quarters opening to. How weird…

»Jim«, Bones said again and sounded more excited than he had for quite some time. »I think I found a way. I can give you back your eyesight. Come with me!«

Before Jim knew what was happening, he got pulled up from the couch by Bones and was led out of the quarters. »Wait, Bones, not so fast.«

»It's not gonna work right from the start, Jim. But I think I found it«, Bones continued.

»Alright. I believe you.«

»Aren't you happy?«

»Sure.« Jim tightened his grip around Bones' hand. »It's just…«

The doors of the turbolift closed. Jim felt how the capsule started moving.

»What?«, Bones asked and Jim tried to picture his concerned expression.

»What will happen to us?«

Bones stopped the lift. »What the hell do you mean?«

»I…« What if Bones had just gotten involved with him out of pity? Jim didn't know where this sudden fear had come from but it was there. He tried to tell himself how ridiculous it was, that Bones wasn't that kind of a man.

Bones kissed him. »This thing between us has nothing to do with your blindness, Jim.«

»Okay.« He believed Bones. He would believe anything Bones said. He was even ready to believe in lies Bones might tell him. »Okay«, he repeated also to convince himself.

»Good.« Bones' lips met his once again. »And now come on.« The lift had reached its destination. The deck sickbay was located on.

Jim slowly emerged from his anesthesia. Bones had explained to him that he couldn't perform such a delicate operation with Jim being conscious. He said something about bypassing the optical nerve and tried to explain the medical details to him but it was all Greek to Jim.

»Jim?« Bones soft voice penetrated the fog of his thoughts.

»Did it work?«, Jim mumbled. The sedative did unwillingly let go of him. His head felt like it was packed in cotton.

»Look at me and tell me«, Bones requested.

For a long moment, Jim searched his soul before opening his eyes. At first everything was as before and he already wanted to give Bones the bad news when suddenly he noticed a light. First it was weak and it took some seconds to become stronger. Finally, it glared so harshly that tears rolled out of the corners of eyes. A dark spot partly covered the light and let the searing pain ebb away. After another couple more seconds the dark spot turned into a face he barely recognized. The dark hair and the concerned expression, however, told him that it could be only one person.

»Say something, Jim. Please. Do you see anything?« Bones was bending closer over him. Jim's field of vision became clearer, the outlines sharper.

Jim instinctively reached for Bones' hands and then smiled. »Yes, Bones. Yes, I see you. I see you«, he said nearly crying of happiness and pulled Bones down for a kiss. Finally he was able to see Bones again! Bones had been true to his word. »I can see you«, he whispered happily.

THE END


End file.
